Warning: I had 4 hours of sleep last night, spent hours in a car driving to and fro a wedding, and have a summer cold flu death. I’m a little cranky-mean.
Maci. I love Tennessee accents. “With fake boooobs.” Maci just continues to astound with her maturity, not even minding Ryan dating, as long as the girl might be a positive influence on him and encourage him to see his son. Also, Ryan? You can have him is right. Someone send him on a dangerous mission in Iraq. One that doesn’t need skill or talent. Just the ability to rock guyliner if needed.
I can’t believe she is trying to wean her son off the pacifier without throwing them away first. She needs to make it harder to cave! Also, from what we saw of Ryan last season, how does Maci just let him have total responsibility over the baby without any worry? Does Ryan’s mom help? Did Ryan get better at fatherhood once he wasn’t pouting over their relationship problems? Nevermind, I just saw Grandma come over and take over the real baby-watching after Bentley’s spill. What a dumb question!
Ryan, why didn’t you introduce them? What’s that you say? Uh duh-no? Oh, right. Hard to talk with that paci in your mouth.
Amber. Let’s just put it out there. Unfortunately, Baby Leah has a genetic mountain to climb. She will need to adopt fruitarianism and/or become a marathon runner to make a dent in that DNA. Leah is also what is known in the industry as a “runner” – she runs when you try to change her diaper. Moms of runners have more stress, fact. Look it up. She is very cute, though.
What happened to Gary’s radiation tech or whatever it was job? Some of these detailed have eluded me. Get a job, Gary! I do like you, though, for some reason. I guess Amber’s career in the beauty field has not taken off quite as planned? Salon job from last season is now a tanning salon counter job? Downgrade.
Okay, now I have a baby who gets into everything, too, and that’s why every waking minute of my life involves me following her. On her heels. On her baby butt tail. She doesn’t have time to throw French chocolatier chocolate truffles on the ground, even though she’d love to. I’m calling Producer Foul. They told Amber and Gary to let Leah loose to illustrate what would happen. And then Leah stumbled behind the counter for the shop workers to tend to? That’s funny. Maybe Amber’s on to something. The next time Anna wanders away in a store, I will rely on the Village to raise her. Awesome! Thanks, Amber.
Amber’s First Axiom of Baby Physics: The price of Lunchables should always factor into one’s travel plans.
I thought Gary hated Amber’s dad? Corollary to Amber’s First Axiom: It’s always a good idea to put two in-laws who hate each other plus an active young toddler in a car for 16 hours. No one will cry or anything.
Hey, Amber, toss the girl a toy if you don’t want to let her out of the car to run around every 9 hours or so. Then after you keep the baby caged in the carseat for a day and half, be sure to take her immediately to a restaurant. Just for added smart planning.
Why does Uncle care so much if they are married or not? I’m calling religious fundamentalism, because what other ism thinks any, no matter how ill-advised, marriage is better than out of wedlock child-rearing? There is also something in his creepy monotone yet slightly off calm demeanor that screams mega-church to me. According to this guy, not only do rings not matter, sanity and a lack of spousal abuse don’t matter either. “She’s going to be difficult,” indeed. Just for the record, I didn’t start haranguing my husband until after we were married.
Leah hates the sand but Gary hates dancing, in the sand, in sneakers. Apple doesn’t fall far!
Farrah. Now I’m not saying I want my mom to wield knives or anything. But if she could wave a butter knife, and I can get a free babysitter…? Nevermind.
Superly suck. Poor Farrah. Her mom controlled her life so tightly she is woefully unprepared for life on her own. And not an easy life, at that. I don’t see Farrah lasting very long in this arrangement. Mommy Dearest will begin to look increasingly attractive as bills mount and hardships worsen.
I wonder if Farrah could get a better-paying job in a restaurant rather than a pizza joint. She was studying to be a chef, right? I know she lives in the Midwest and I don’t know if restaurant servers and chefs make as much money there as in major cities where it can be a viable occupation that you can live on.
Farrah’s mom’s house is like an Edgar Allen Poe horror house. I think it shows her tormented psyche through its bizarre decor and many rooms of secret pasts. What does Michael think of what happened in the altercation? His eyes suspiciously cast downward as Debra claimed she acted in self-defense. I wonder if he has his doubts?
Baby book = manipulation!
That’s a lot of excitement over a non-alcoholic pineapple drink. Did she say acceptive? I’m very acceptive to the possibility I misheard her and she meant to say receptive. Or accepting. On a serious note, it makes a lot of sense that her earlier acting out after Sophia was born was a denial thing, and now she is grieving. I like her more since her personality is fleshed out now that Debra isn’t censoring her every word and thought.
Catelynn and Tyler. They continue to show themselves to be the most awkward combination of young children and accidental adults (parents). Tyler is sometimes painfully babyish, and they do things like have birthday parties at roller rinks. I like C +T but when they dress up and go out to dinner and he proposes to her? It reminds me of when I went on dates at the age of 13 and the boy’s parents drove us to Olive Garden and we split salad and bread sticks because that’s all he could afford on his lawn mowing salary. It’s kind of cute but sad because they have a baby. And crappy parents. And braces. Relationship counseling before Tyler has reached adult height and Catelynn’s teeth have settled into their permanent position?
If I did nothing to my hair after I washed it, and then waited 4 days, my hair would be identical to Catelynn’s mother’s hair. Maybe I can be her for Halloween.
I wasn’t too impressed with the counselor. I think even though C + T are ostensibly there to talk about their couple problems, a good counselor might be a healthy adult who can guide them just in general.
Everyone lived happily ever after. Until next time, my teen mommies, have fun, and remember, it’s not “do you want to?” – it’s “will you?”