Daily life is very slow around here. Not too much happens, although it’s sort of exhausting at the same time. I used to (pre-two kids) have long to-do lists and set appointments. It was a little bit of this and a little bit of that (work on some Work work stuff, maybe draft an article or make some phone calls, get in a trip to the gym, go to a fun activity, play date or friend’s house with my daughter) but it was relatively structured in that I knew what I wanted to do in a day, and I did it.
Now, I have a kind of A list of things to get done, and then AA+ goals. A list contains the must. Everyone gets dressed, everyone gets fed, my teeth get brushed and flossed. Depending on my mood, a mandatory leaving of the house for at least some of us is a A goal. Sometimes it gets bumped to the AA+ list…may happen if the stars align. My mild, no big deal workouts are also on the A list. A DVD workout or a walk.
AA+ also contains extras…a phone call, a freelance item, cleaning something special in the house. I try to keep my expectations pretty meager, since I never know how much sleep I will have the night before (none) or how fussy the baby will be (NO PUT DOWN Level 10).
It’s amazing how quickly I’ve adjusted to this retraction, this narrowing in of my daily horizons. It was pretty depressing at first, but I’m getting used to it. Days no longer have a structure or a calendar feel, but more of an ebb and flow. A rhythm. A tendency. Henry tends to nap around certain times. Anna will shed her clothes and don one of two favorite princess dresses around dusk. She will ask me to tie a long ribbon onto her ponytail and pretend it’s Rapunzel’s flowing blond locks. I tend to get out the door in a typical time frame. Everything is subject to change and rescheduling.
I’m okay with it. For now. I am looking forward to some meatier days, some more filled and fulfilling weeks. I can feel them coming. The winter light has already shifted. The sun is cold, but it’s shining just a smidge longer and has the tiniest sheen of spring on it. The shortest day of the year has come and gone.
I just arranged for a long term babysitter. She will come by once or twice a week so I can get to some of my old favorite classes at the gym. This is my Get Through Winter plan. Three months, stretching some extra babysitting money as far as it can go. Three hours a week. For some precious serious working out.