So turns out I’m not really okay. I hope I will BE okay at some point in the near future. In fact, this situation feels so bleak to me that I felt the need to actually write down anything GOOD I could think about it. And by GOOD I mean NOT AS BAD AS IT COULD BE.
I have whiplash (cervical sprain) and the doctor today wasn’t immensely reassuring. Amidst the haze of forms, insurances, crying, and trying to cope for my children, there is more crying, because he didn’t say, Well you’ll be back to running and health in no time. I also have some form of concussion. I’m still waiting to find out more details when I see a neurologist tomorrow.
the grateful list post accident
1. Henry wasn’t hurt (this is worth Infinity points)
2. We didn’t have to be admitted to the hospital
3. Both whiplash and a concussion are not PERMANENT injuries
4. I was strong and fit when I got hurt, so I will recover
5. I am determined to get back to my old physical level 100%, determination will help
6. I didn’t black out or lose consciousness; whatever level of concussion I have is likely to be mild.
7. I can always get back into shape, once a runner or an athlete always a runner
8. I can access good medical care
9. They totaled our car and we will get a nice new one
10. I can relax and spend time doing things with Henry while Anna is in school until I can run again
11. I may be allowed to ride a recumbent bike and do light weights soon
12. I will be more grateful for my health
13. Brand new car seats and stroller and maybe I’ll even sue because I’m fucking mad
14.I still have my family and my beautiful children
15. We have food and the basics of life
16. I can always laugh
17. I likely (?is this true?) won’t suffer long term symptoms and I can manage whatever comes
18. If exercise and physical therapy can help me get well, I will do it
19. I am tough and resilient, I can handle a lot
20. I am alive and I have a long life ahead of me to do all the things I want and know I can do once I’m healthy.
21. I’ve been injured and thought I wouldn’t recover for a long time and it all ended up okay in the end. I don’t know what the future holds but I’m optimistic.